Reply to Crappy partner, Good Dad- sound familiar?

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[quote=Anonymous]Am I better off without him?  Yes.  Is my child better off without him?  No.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Me and s/o have been living together for 3 years.  Soon after he moved in, I had an unplanned pregnancy.  Our relationship and friendship has deteriorated in this short time, and I'm pregnant with # 2 (unplanned again).

Our friendship has crumbled.  We've known each other for nearly a decade, when he was in a better position.  I am the breadwinner and pretty much the sole-provider/head of household.  I handle all the financials, all the major household decisions, and the day-to-day.  I do everything.  His contributions to the household include and are limited to: mowing the grass, taking out trash, exterminating, and walking the dogs.  I think over time this has bruised his over-inflated ego and now he feels the need to cut me down whenever he has any opportunity to find fault in something I did "wrong".  I find him overreacting and criticizing the most minute things, just to raise his voice and exert his sense of dominance.

Frankly, I laugh on the inside and realize he is a complete idiot.  In heated arguments I've called him out on this and probably am guilty of emasculating him.  I've learned from my mistakes since then and have not fed into his bait and switch type confrontations in almost a year.

I'm excluded from many couples' events, but am often invited to lunch or dinner dates solo.  It really hurt to find out my best friends went on a couples weekend getaway and felt like they needed it to hide it from me.  He does nothing to support or encourage me, nothing thoughtful, and honestly has pretty much ruined every holiday, celebration, or event for me lately.

On the flip side, he is a very caring, loving, and good dad.  Although we don't see eye to eye on all parenting things (ie. set dinner times, routines, etc), he is a good disciplinarian and makes my life as a mom easier.  When he comes home he spends almost every minute with him, gives him a bath, and puts him down to sleep (I am drained by 4pm and very much looking forward to the relief).

Wouldn't a nanny do the same? Pretty sure it would cost less than supporting him.  Every now and then he'll give me a couple hundred dollars--- no where near half the monthly bills or expenses or the massive credit card bills he's amassed for us.

I know it's time to cut the cords on our relationship, but I do like having him in the house and can't stomach the guilt of tossing him out.  He's up for counseling, but like with everything else-- there is no follow through.  And I don't feel like I need to fork over all the money if he won't make a concerted effort.

When we do get in fights he threatens me that he will move out of state with some BS shared custody.  One time we got in a fight he kept harassing me, so to get him off me i scratched him hard before calling the cops.   He took pictures and claims he can file domestic abuse against me.  No judge in his or her right mind would give a chronic pot smoker with massive debt, limited work experience, no credit, no car, and no health insurance shared custody.   Because of this I am prepared to leave him off baby #2's birth certificate.  I have a large, supportive family that can help me with childcare, once I have to swallow the "I told you so" commentaries.[/quote]

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