Reply to Cut out one parent...how to deal with loss of the good parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think 8:48 is being too harsh.  Your mother sounds awful, and you say your dad does stand up for you, but he is also a victim of her abuse.  Is it possible to maintain some relationship with your dad separate from your mom?  Phone calls, letters to his work address, skype, etc.  Maybe outings that your mother doesn't know about?  Expecting your father to divorce your mother is expecting a lot of another person.  Only he can know what his marriage vows meant to him.  [/quote]

OP here. Thanks pps.  While I do agree I'm making some excuses for my dad, he's been dealing with this for 40 years so I can only imagine how much she has broken him. He's retired  and has a neurologically degenerative disorder, so divorcing isn't quite an option for him.[b]  I can likely get together with him separately, although i don't want to set him up for abuse from my mom because of it. [/b]

I still have a lot of work to do before I'm fully ok with cutting her out (still in that extreme guilt phase) so hopefully it will get easier and I will be able to think more clearly soon![/quote]
Not to be  harsh, but your dad is responsible for what he is willing or NOT willing to take from your mom. As often happens in these types of situations, you have become "his" parent. Not your responsibility. Take care of yourself and your child, let your dad know that you want a relationship with him and are willing to be there for him, but don't throw yourself under the bus to do it. He needs to get into therapy pronto.
[/quote]

Yeah those battered wives sure deserve it don't they. [/quote]
Nothing I said implied battered women OR husbands "deserve " bad treatment.
Don't be an idiot, practice reading comprehension.
Plus, go to an AL ANON. meeting and you could learn something![/quote]

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