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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- thanks for the replies. I asked her a while ago and just talked to her again and she said, "I so wish I could be there!"- like she was SO concerned for me- and I wanted to say- you COULD- the volunteer thing is a writing group that SHE organizes and controls the schedule for. She is always talking about how busy she is- hosting dinners and company- and just doesn't have any time to visit but says she wants to see us more. I think it is her attitude that is bothering me- call a spade a spade- you COULD come but your social life is way more important to you. I know I should be glad that she even says she cares- and to the snarky poster- I am looking into hiring someone for the time I need help- I just wanted to believe that it is family you can count on- because you can be sure if someone in my family needed me and I was in her position I would drop everything and do what I could. [/quote]

Yes, she COULD give up the things that are important in her day-to-day life to be at your beck and call, just like you COULD put the new baby up for adoption and avoid having to be inconvenienced.  Just because something is technically possible doesn't mean that it's no big deal or a reasonable hing to ask.  She expresses love and concern and offers help and you're pissed that she isn't willing to bail on her existing commitments because you have more kids than you can handle?[/quote]

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