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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Dare I chime in prematurely?  I so appreciate the support, it is much needed, more than you know.

IL's are local.  We do not generally see them.  DH does not make the effort, nor do the ILs.  I don't feel like it is my job to "make it happen", or anything like that, but the possibility is certainly there.  There are no hard feelings on their side, and no reason for any, it is just the way they are.  Half of the family lives across the country, and do not generally travel.

When they are together, they do not talk to each other much.  The IL's IL's (so to speak - the ones that married into the family) - provide any conversation, but only stay at vacation two or three days max, presumably for similar reasons.

They definitely would NOT babysit, here or there, which is fine, I am not asking them for anything.  MIL babysit frequently, at least once per week, for SILs.  Not sure what MILs reasoning would be.  She does not seem to like children.  That would be my guess. Presumably IL's would want to see their grandchildren?!

Anyway, sorry for the background.  I am just looking to have DH spend his limited vacation time with his nuclear family.  It would be in a different location (nothing exotic).

DC had an assignment at their first day of school.  DC was asked to describe the best and worst parts of summer.  The ILs vacation was listed as the worst, which made me really sad, since that was our only vacation.

It has been this way for years.  Sometimes I attend and sometimes not, but I have never spoken ill of it, certainly not around the children.  Now the children are old enough to judge for themselves.  I had no idea the children did not like it.  They haven't been enthusiastic, but they have not complained too much.  Their friends have been to fun places (one went to Disney, I don't know if we would do this or not).  I feel really bad for our children.  I don't know what to do.

DH is a people pleaser and wants to please his birth family, but at what expense?  :(  Thanks for listening.

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Who is the one pushing to have a joint vacation? You said your DH is a people pleaser but he doesn't make any efforts to see them even though they are local?

Plan your own vacation to where you want!! If your ILs balk, then have them plan something on the weekend. Done.

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