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[quote=Anonymous]My in laws who live on the West Coast came last year for Christmas since I couldn't fly ( being 8 months pregnant) and had a toddler.  They never came for the birth (my parents are gone), which was fine since we have loving friends who are like family to us who could watch the toddler.  Once the baby was 5 months old, visited us on a business trip (free flight and hotel), and stayed for 2 days.  They showed up late and left early. The entire time they were here they heavily hinted that it was now "our turn" to visit them.  They want us to visit since they love the West Coast and find DC boring.  They can easily afford both time and money to visit, but just don't like it here.  As they left, they tried to extract a promise that we would go to them this time.  Stupidly, I said in a nice but firm tone, 'I love seeing you guys, but since we have to pay for 3 tickets now, it is too expensive to fly to you every year.  furthermore, it is MUCH easier for you to fly to us than for us to fly to you.  I'm sorry, but for the next few years you need to visit us more.  Once you're older, we can switch again."  That did not go over well.

I do not think it is fair to have us fly there, and I do not think that visiting us for 2 days justifies a week-long visit to their house.  Their house is full of breakable art which they don't put away, and they only pick activities that only THEY would enjoy.  The last time we visited them was last year just before I had to stop flying (late 2013) for a week.  It was horrible horrible horrible.  My toddler cried every single day since my inlaws would plan these awful activities.  I tried to help plan something, but they refused to let me have any input.  They basically called my toddler stupid since he didn't appreciate the modern art museum, the hike on the freezing cold beach, the other art museum, etc.

Can anyone help my husband and I tell them nicely that they are invited to come here, but we are not going there until the kids are older?  I was stupid to blurt that stuff out before (and of course I apologized profusely for my tone which honestly was fine), but they need to understand that it's not possible right now for us to see them.

FWIW, my husband doesn't want to visit them either, but REALLY wants a vacation.  So essentially, we have to tell them, we have enough money for a vacation, but don't have enough time and money to see you AND have a vacation.  We are picking a vacation.  Sorry.  Any thoughts on how to put this in nicer terms?  [/quote]

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