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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Identical situations OP.  Keep in mind that TEN months of pregnancy heighten your emotions so if you're up to it, try to carve out time for yourself in your house; close your bedroom door, explain that you need time to rest and relax, go to a restaurant for lunch, etc... Also ask your DH if he could keep her occupied when he notices that you made need a minute to yourself and with your new baby.  He needs to run interference for you but you have to be clear with him on what you need and when.

Lastly, I've been to therapy, prayed, cried and everything else.  Conclusion drawn... my mother hasn't and she isn't changing so I imagine what it would be like if my mother was no longer with us and that helps me cope and put things in perspective.  She's getting older, slowing down a bit so I also keep that in mind.  I do love her very much and I tell myself that everyday.  I've also decided that my mother did the best she could the best way SHE knew how.  My grandmother was a tough cookie, my mother didn't know her father and I think she just didn't get what she needed from her family.

Good luck with the baby and try to make the best of your time with her.[/quote]

Thank you for your advice (OP here). I do try to remind myself that she did the best she knew how. The main issue currently is her husband of 20 years who has acted very inappropriately toward me in the past. I refuse to visit their home and have not seen him in many years. I don't even want her to leave him necessarily, but it is a constant reminder.

But you are right. My mother likely didn't get what she needed from her family, and like I mentioned is weak and needy. Telling myself "it has nothing to do with you" does help. I *know* I am not doing myself any favors by continuing to stew over it, but those feelings just won't seem to go away.

I just feel like everyone I've tried to set boundaries with is descending upon me with the birth of my baby and it gets overwhelming.

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