Reply to one sibling opposed to assisted living for elderly parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you looked into a home health care aide?  The trend now is to age in place and have services come to you.

Is your father capable of making a decision?  If so, what does he want?

Otherwise, I would say it is the sibling that is currently providing a home to father to say whether or not he can stay with them any longer.  [/quote]

The 24-7, one on one home health aide is much, much more costly than living in an assisted living facility.  Having an aide come for bathing could be scheduled, but an aide would need to be present round the clock for toileting.  Dad could not afford this 24-7, one-on-one service for long.

He can afford a nearby assisted living, however, which runs much less - about $3500 per month.  That costs less because of economies of scale - home health aides there can be on call to help many people, instead of waiting around one-on-one for toileting assistance.

Dad is of sound mind but has trouble communicating now.  We know he is sad at his mortality and loss of independence at this latest stage.  We are sad too.

However we truly cannot provide the toileting assistance 24-7, even if we and our spouses were comfortable with it.  We all work and lots of toileting, bedpan assistance is required round the clock.

Out of state sibling is vehemently opposed to any paid care option for Dad.
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