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[quote=Anonymous]
A little perspective and insight would be very helpful.

I am so angry at my parents, mainly my mother. They live far away.
She has had Multiple Sclerosis ever since she was a young adult, a particularly slow form, with very rare crises. Now at 64 she can still walk without aid, even though her hands are badly affected and she has difficulty preparing and eating meals. She can't sign her name.
She has always been extremely retiring, has refused to go to local MS meetings, and decided against physical therapy, even though it is a proven form of motor-neuron maintenance which keeps muscles functional for longer.

Now she has just admitted to me that on two recent occasions she nearly drowned in the sea during beach vacations because she found herself in deep water and her legs would not work. The lifeguard had to fish her out. I don't know what my father was thinking letting her get in the second time.

This is a warning sign that she won't be able to walk at all in a few years. 
I told her on the phone that intensive physical therapy would, even now, prolong her quality of life, and push the wheelchair much further into the future. Not only that, but it could reverse a little of the hand tremors that are handicapping her so badly now. If only she had done physical therapy all throughout her life! As an MS patient, she is very lucky to have the functionality she has, why tempt fate by not even working on things that could have been worked on and squandering all this time?

So she replies: "oh we'll see..." which is code for "no". But she never refuses. She can even say yes and not follow through, just to get me off her back. And my father just lets her do whatever she wants.

Grrr. DH is a doctor and has already tried to explain things to her, to no avail. He says lots of patients can never get out of denial.
I don't understand her at all, and it upsets me.

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