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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, is the list on going affairs or new ones you are talking about?  How long did it take for you to discover them in both cases?  Please do share. TIA[/quote]

Not ongoing- my college boyfriend (many years ago) and my current husband. Both cheated- both were sexual relationships.

I found out about my college boyfriend because he was behaving oddly and I confronted him. I found out about my husband because he was behaving oddly so I snooped.

In hindsight, the list I provided was going on in both instances. I put it out there because people question whether their partner may be cheating and there are signs.

I just want to say (and this is not directed to you) that it's odd to feel defensive against nasty comments when I was victimized by two people that I loved and trusted-- that I am to blame for making poor relationship choices. Even more odd is that I suspect the nasty comments are coming from other women which is disappointing.

Trust me ladies, I hope this never, ever happens to you. Finding out about an extramarital affair is one of the single most devastating events of my life. The initial shock was like being slapped across the face- then the real pain started. [/quote]

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