Reply to My MIL's new kick: VENT ONLY

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[quote=Anonymous]So, she loves to talk about how broke she is.  How much she needs more money.  How money would fix all her problems.  Well.  She left her home this morning to buy McDonald's breakfast because she does not have "enough money to keep food in the house."  She has spent her entire life getting utilities disconnected because she "can't make enough money."  Yet, she refuses to pack her meals at home and eats out for lunch 5 days a week at work.  When I ask her if there is anything I can pick up at the store for her, she says, "I don't have any money."  Really, it seems to me to be poor money management.

My husband (her son) and I are on a very tight budget, so we are not able to help out financially, but to what we can to help her in other ways.

Now, here's more info:  she does not do much with our children.  But she is very active with my SIL's (her daughter's) children.  My kids recently found out that she bought my nephew a new instrument, and to save face, she apparently offered to buy my kids instruments.  I told her this was not necessary and until they saw his instrument, had never shown a genuine interest in playing an one.  Honestly, I thought but didn't say, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPENDING MONEY WHEN ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS BEING BROKE???"  She brings this up every time we see her and now my kids say they all want the same instrument nephew has and she is intent on buying them all the same thing.

I was talking to my oldest on the subject and I said, "I just want you to make sure that whatever you choose, it is what YOU really want, not because your cousin has one and you think its cool."

MIL chimes in and says, "I'm controlling this one, not you."  She said a few more things, trying to engage me in an argument, and I did not respond, so she quit.

I later spoke with my oldest and mentioned this, "Well, if something happens that you don't like the instrument, maybe you could ask your grandmother to save the receipt so you could return and choose something else."

She said, "No, we can't do that because Grandma told me that if I don't like it I can't get anything new and she'll give it to someone who will appreciate it."

I'll acknowledge that my husband and I are very different than my MIL.  She is overweight and was not the most involved mother with her kids; we are the opposite.  She relates much better to my SIL, as they have many of the same eating habits and through "helping her with the kids" enables SIL to have similar mothering styles.  Like, as in, coming home at 9am because she was out all night.

Look, I realize this may sound judgmental, but I really do believe that we're all just different people who would not communicate if we were not family.

OK.  Rant over.

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