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[quote=Anonymous]I also have a serious medical condition (that is visually undetectable), but it limits me from living life to the fullest.  I have found that telling men about it hasn't been too big a deal.  I was very worried when I first divorced that it would be a deal breaker for most people.  So far, I have told pretty much everyone by the second or third date.  As you mentioned, facing mortality changes who you are and how you live your life.

I bring it up when it comes up naturally in conversation.  Sometimes that happens on the first date, more often on the second or third.  I don't go into a whole lot of detail.  With my illness, I stress that it is not contagious and that with medication, I live a pretty normal life.  I don't tell them my long term prognosis or how it limits my ability to travel, etc.  Those conversations can wait until I am getting more serious with someone.

Here's the thing:  Some people will react poorly to hearing that you have an illness whether you tell them on the first date or months later.  If that's the case, I'd rather weed those folks out pretty quickly.  Everyone has their own fears, and conceptions about illness.

In my own (limited) experience, the most important thing is how you discuss it.  If you are upbeat about life and not paralyzed by fear of getting sick again and you don't act like some sort of a victim (full of anger, resentment and why me type attitude), most people won't be too phased by your illness.[/quote]

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