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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here, I've tried talking with her about it and she immediately has a frown in her face and is on the defensive.  She with first say that I'm a liar, or "that never happened."  We have tried to have calm discussions with her in the past and makes all kinds of things up.  She really has no idea how to have a constructive disagreement.  There is no "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I didn't intend to come off that way."  It's all accusing the whole time.  So as many times as I have tried to calmly get to the bottom of it, it never ever works, I have no idea why.

As far as the gifts I have not a want in the world for them.  I have told her in the past not to get us a thing, just be nice to us.  We do not expect them and would be fine not seeing another gift from them.  Sometimes I think she feels like she can great us like shit because she spent 100 bucks on our kid that afternoon or whatever.

[b]I feel so conflicted because if I treat her like she has a mental problem then I could probably just deal and let it roll off but I think she is just choosing to be mean. [/b] It kils me that anyone would make that choice especially with family that loves her.[/quote]

Honestly, this would make it easier for me to deal with.  If she had a mental problem, such that she lacked the ability to control her actions or something, I might feel like I should have some sympathy or cut her more slack.  But someone choosing to be unkind to the people who love them?  Not gonna feel bad about stepping back.  If you choose to be mean to people, it is all on you when they choose to distance themselves.  If your mom had a real beef with you, she should express it when you gave her the opportunity.  [/quote]

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