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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feed DD similar BLW and she is doing great. To other, she doesn't seem to eat as much as or spoon fed in one meal, properly because food are separated and add to her bowl when she needs more. I want DD to feed herself and she is pretty good with that. If she stops feeding herself and there is food left in the bowl, I won't feed her. I want DD learn to recognize when she is full and done without "1 more spoon force" (if you know what I am talking about). However, when my MIL comes for dinner , she always spoon feed her if she doesn't show the interest in the food (MIL's food, she cooks and brings it over), even when DD already ate some food and not interested in it anymore. DD is very easy with feeding, she opens her mouth if you try to feed her and sometime if could end up with vomiting because she is too full. I tried/implied/demonstrate how I feed DD all the time she has meal with us. I refused to feed DD her food sometime with explanation that DD is full or just have some food or she is going to have dinner soon. [b]I feel like MIL doesn't listen when she recently come over to the homecare house to feed DD and not letting me know at all. [/b](DD is sent to home care that is essentially 3 house away from MIL's, and the care lady is pretty easy going. She is happy that grandma comes over playing with DD and feeds her food but she has the same problem as I do that MIL is kind of forcing DD to eat/drink sometime even when DD refused it  - that is how I know about this)

Should I just be more direct to MIL? What is the proper way to talk to MIL without making her feel bad or upset (although I don't think what to upset about her). It is not that I don't want DD eat her food, I fed DD her a lot when she comes. [/quote]

Take the bull by the horns.  She should have at least asked first, both you and the daycare provider.

"MIL, we don't want you to be dropping by DD's daycare without notice to us and the daycare provider.  It's not fair to the daycare provider to disrupt her day.  Maybe you can come, with pre-arrangment, for a special occasion, but the drop-ins need to stop."

And, then, in the moment, be more direct about the feeding.  "No need to feed her, she's eaten recently, so we'll save this for later."  "MIL, put down the spoon. We're letting DD learn to feed herself and stop when she's full."  The bringing food over, unless it's for the whole family and not just DD, would peeve me, and I basically just wouldn't ever let MIL feed DD.  Get on the same page with DH on this, so all you really should have to say is, "No thanks, we've got it."[/quote]

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