Reply to How to be a Great MIL

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to be a Great MIL"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I thought with all of the talk about unwelcoming IL's, and IL "vacations" maybe a nice thing to consider would be what makes a great MIL.  So whether you ARE a great MIL, or you wish you had one, please let us know what makes a GREAT MIL.  (Please, any other topic can be reserved for your own thread, thanks.)

To start, what comes to mind is: actually being supportive about your IL's, not just saying that you are.  Not getting on the "bash DIL" bandwagon when the other mothers in law start trash talking their daughters in law at bridge club.  Keeping it positive, welcoming, and if not equal - not glaringly distinct.  Treating IL's as they treat you, and/or how you wish to be treated.

I hope I make my DIL feel welcome and truly part of the family, without just saying so.  Actions and words are two different things!  Also, I hope I don't look for fault in my DIL.  When the wedding comes, I will realize it is her day, no one else's.  When the babies come, I will realize that she needs sleep.  If she had major surgery, I will realize again, that she needs sleep. If her family is not nearby, I will realize that it is up to me to be the bigger person, to be an adult, to be helpful (not hurtful or critical or threatened or anything else crazy!), to act like a mother (not "the" mother, but "a" mother), and ask DIL and DS what they need from me.  I hope she knows she can come to me if she needs anything.  I won't sit in my warm 5 BR house pestering DIL and DS and feeling somehow begrudged; but ask if their power is still out, do they need a place to stay, do they need food, especially since they have a new baby just home from the hospital.  When family vacations come, I hope I will not hold it against her if she does not feel well, if she has a chronic physical health condition (the one I did *not* ask about in a rather accusatory, inappropriate, out of line way!) and can not attend.  I will be grateful that DS married someone that loves him so much, and takes care of him.

Well, I suppose that was cathartic :)

Anyone else?  How would you be a great MIL to your DS or DD?

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics