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[quote=Anonymous]Wanted to hear some thoughts, please. We're wanting to do mediation versus the court route.

Virginia. 2 kids. I was at home with them, now a student. His income is about 175k, a little less than 1/3 of that is bonus rather than salaried, so not necessarily able to be counted on, though it is likely he'll receive about that again in the future, increasing slowly over time. My income is about 31k while in school. Will be about 80k once out.

They're living with me 100% of the time right now, as he's in a place (mostly by choice due to location/commute) that doesn't have room for them. He is looking to save and have 50/50, but that is years out.

Plan was basically to split their expenses and he'd pay me that monthly. That's what initially seemed fair -- I need a place to live whether or not they're here with me. As I read more and speak to more people, I'm starting to feel like I'm just getting screwed. He feels like I'm being nasty asking for any more. Looks like the VA calculator suggests something like 1.5k for the two kids, though. We wouldn't be anywhere near that.

What's the argument, fairness wise, beyond expenses? Help me lay this out, please. I do feel as if I supported him through his career and am feeling screwed now living on savings -- but while he has income, I do have savings, and savings are what he's missing to be able to buy his own home -- which is obviously good for our kids, so I want that too. But I also don't care to be totally walked on.

Thanks. Emotional. I know legally about how things would work out, but I really REALLY do not want to go that route. Neither of us do. We're amicable. [/quote]

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