Reply to 10 Bits of Unsolicited Advice on School-Shopping from Someone who has Been There

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Reply to "10 Bits of Unsolicited Advice on School-Shopping from Someone who has Been There"

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[quote=Anonymous]My advice:

1. I agree with most of the list, especially #3 and #6 about contacting families at each school, by whatever reasonable means you can (without being creepy and stalker-ish).  They can give you the best perspective on what it's like to be there, and identify positives and negatives you might not have considered.  It can be time-consuming, but the time spent is a worthwhile investment in light of the high stakes (i.e., your child's development, your money to the school, your time at the school, etc).

2. On #4, I agree with other posters who say that the admissions team might not be an accurate gauge of the school.  It really depends on the situation.  At some schools, the admissions team might be closely involved with the rest of the school, and might be really good at working closely with each individual family to assess the situation.  But unfortunately, at some other schools (particularly those with tons of applicants), the admissions team's primary job is to effectively manage the hundreds of applicants, so they have less time for hand-holding.  As a result, the level of involvement applicants get from admissions people may differ significantly from the level of involvement actual students get from the school.  When my family was applying to schools, we got the most hands-on treatment from an admissions officer at a really subpar school, and I suspect it's because she simply did not have many other applicants and really wanted to sell us.

3. Read the DCUM comments on schools, and use them to learn about topics to investigate in your conversations with parents.  But don't accept any DCUM claims (good or bad) as true unless you independently verify with an actual person.  Often the stories I see on DCUM are one-sided and exaggerated, and sometimes they're outright lies.  Use this forum as a resource, but don't be fooled into believing what many people post here.  This is true even for DCUM comments from people who claim to be parents at a particular school.  Even if those posters are actually parents (which is sometimes not true), they may well have a hidden agenda or an axe to grind.  This is why it's important to talk to actual parents directly, so you can look them in the eye, ask follow up questions, and evaluate truthfulness.

4. Remember that you're picking a school not just for your child, but for your whole family.  Not all your children need to attend the same school, but it will make your life much easier if you can find a school that's right for all your children.  Also, especially if your children are younger, know that your school community becomes like an extended family.  You will spend a lot of time there, and you will deal with lots of other parents, so it's best to pick an environment and parent group where you will feel comfortable.

5. Don't get hyper-focused on finding the one "best" school.  There is no such thing.  DC/MD/VA are fortunate to have many incredible schools (both private and public).  If we're being realistic, most families could find themselves perfectly happy at several different schools.  Yes, you want to choose the one you like best, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that there's only one right choice for you, and that all others are trash.  Remember all the cliches: "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." and "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."[/quote]

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