Reply to H doesn't understand why he shouldn't sleep with other women

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Reply to "H doesn't understand why he shouldn't sleep with other women"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, here is the thing.

The reason he should not sleep with other women is that he entered into a relationship with you (that became a marriage) that is based on the idea that you will be monogamous with each other. I'm certain that an element of this was including in the vows that you took. You built a life together, you had children together, and you (OP) probably would have made different choices if you had been aware that he was not interested in staying monogamous.

He made a promise to you, and breaking promises is morally condemnable. If you had always had an open relationship, it would be perfectly fine for him to sleep with other women, provided that he did so within whatever guidelines that you guys laid out between you. But you did not have that agreement. It sounds like he's bringing it up now because he would like to open your marriage up. If you are not interested in that kind of relationship, please do not think there is anything wrong with you for saying that you do not want that relationship.

If he sleeps with other women after you tell him that you are not open to his proposal, he is cheating on you and you should divorce him. I am fine with people staying married to people who cheat, as long as the cheater is repentant and wants to change. It sounds like your husband is giving you advance notice that he's going to cheat on you, which is basically the opposite of being repentant.[/quote]

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