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[quote=Anonymous]I'm going to a weekend-long family reunion where once again, my brother will be the only member of the extended family who does not attend. It's been this way for over a decade, and always my relatives ask about him, say they wish he would come and ask if he might be able to make it one of these years. I usually just kind of give them a brief update on what he's up to, say he's really busy with work, agree it would be nice if he can come some time and change the subject.

The truth is that my brother has no interest in seeing any of these people ever again. He is openly in a long-term relationship with a man I adore. Most of the members of my family are religious conservatives, and many over the years have said homophobic things -- I remember in particular many years ago before my brother was out a conversation about how much more promiscuous gay people are. More recently, they've said things on FB about supporting traditional marriage or loving the sinner, but hating the sin. Or they've cheered on the owner of Chick Fil A for taking a stand against gay marriage.

I don't go to these gatherings to debate social issues or religion, but to maintain a bond with my family and make sure my children also are familiar with their roots. I'm tempted this time around when family members ask about his absence to say something like, "You know, this family has not exactly embraced people who are in same-sex relationships. I don't think he would feel very comfortable here, and frankly the comments have been hurtful to me as well." I told this to my brother and he kind of shrugged, like I could do whatever I want and he doesn't care what they think.

What's the best way to respond?[/quote]

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