Reply to Signs of bullying?

Forum Index » Private & Independent Schools

Reply to "Signs of bullying?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is common to come back from college and realize there is a real world out there with people that you like. When you are in school you think the kids you see every day are the beginning and the end of the universe (especially when that is all you know K-12). You tolerate them at best and maybe have a few friends. Sure there are some kids that love it, but I think tolerating HS is more the norm.

My H works with teens and his consistent message is this is [b]not the real world, work hard and get to college (or the working world) where you find "your world". [/b]

It takes years to realize those kids were just dumb kids and I don't think it is until you have your own kids you can actually have empathy for those kids (no matter how rich they are).

Just listen to your son's experience without judgement or advice, show empathy for what he went through. Let him know that he can and should be more open with you when he is not happy and it will happen again with work, etc.[/quote]

That's a terrible message and is really not helpful.

First, telling someone the life they are living is not in the "real world" is crazy.  yes, for that kid at that time the "real world" is their high school, etc. And second, I have found that the same things that the same social construct and the same situations continued all throughout life in slightly varied formats. So yes, high school was the "real world" and its better for adults to help kids navigate it in high school so they can extrapolate that to later  years.[/quote]

No. It is not the real world. It is one very homogenous group of people. Every single aspect of HS is controlled. Kids sense that it is weird and restrictive and they "don't belong" but there is little that can be done in those 4 years. It is emotionally restrictive and often toxic but they can't get out. In the real world you can get out, move, change jobs, find a group of friends that you like. This is the private school forum so many can leave but in HS it is much harder especially after Sophomore year.

I don't need you to agree with me. You should read more about it though when you have such a strong opinion about something to ensure you actually know what you are talking about. [/quote]

And every group thereafter you will come to a point where it is a homogenous group of people. We naturally segregate ourselves during our lifetime into groups we feel most comfortable with.  There are many adults who are in situations where they feel they "don't belong".   Just telling a high schooler over and over "well it's not the real world" isn't helpful. It is in fact the "real world" the  high schooler is in at that moment. it's not make believe, they aren't pretending to go there, its not some fantasy they can opt out of.  Teach kids to navigate the best way possible there and encourage them to branch out outside of school.  In the future, high school is just replaced with "the office" and the same advice applies.  Switching jobs isn't always an option and many adults stick it out for a while.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics