Reply to mom lives alone in another city -- concerned about her as she gets older

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My grandmother lived on her own, 9 hours away from her nearest kid, until she was 90. Then she had a stroke that put her in a wheelchair, and she moved to an assisted living facility near my mom.

It was really awful for both of them; my grandmother had always been a very social person, but she just wasn't up to making friends at the new place. Meanwhile, the network of friends who had been so helpful in her hometown didn't exist locally, so the entire burden for caring for her fell on my mom[/quote]

Thing is, PP, your grandmother likely would have had the same experience if she had gone to assisted living in her home town as opposed to near your mom.  It's a move that is difficult and requires that you  make new friends or be socially isolated.  I don't think it's an argument for moving your parent closer to you when they are younger.  Some people adjust better than others to assisted living and nursing home life.

[/quote]

In her specific case, I don't think so -- she lived in a small town, and she had been a teacher there for many years, and also very active as a political volunteer, and was just a big schmoozer in general, so she was recognized by a TON of people, many of them much younger than she was. She was used to being a big fish in a small pond, and she became a little fish in a big pond. She tried to schmooze when she first got to the assisted living place, but being legally blind, hard of hearing, and wheelchair bound really cramped her style.

Maybe none of that is applicable to OP's mom - but maybe some of it is, only she and her mom can make that call.[/quote]

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