Reply to How hard should I try to keep dad involved?

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP that more information would be needed for anyone to give an informed answer. That said, I don't think you should give that information, because the answers you get are likely to be hostile and insulting.

I think that if I had a child with someone who did not want to be part of that child's life, I would organize my life such that their involvement was not needed. I would try to find a job that paid enough that I would not need child support to provide the life I want for my child. I would try to establish a support system so that I did not feel overextended or overwhelmed by the experience of being a single parent. I would try to legally situate things so that the uninterested father had as few legal means as possible to walk in and out of our lives - so sole custody, legal and physical, visitation to be negotiated in writing, well in advance. I'd also try to establish what sort of relationship his family would prefer with the child.

As for the regrets a child might have about not having an engaged father in his life, there are many children who do not have active dads in their life. It's not the end of the world, especially if the father in question is not a stellar example of parenthood.[/quote]

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