Reply to Any hope if there's no spark on a kid-free vacation?

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Reply to "Any hope if there's no spark on a kid-free vacation?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse and I went away for a long kid-free weekend and I think just had sex once. But like you, we didn't fight and enjoyed each other's company. So that was an improvement  over life at home and still worth the time and money in my mind. Our passion is gone -- I wonder if maybe it'll come back when we don't have kids in diapers. But even if it doesn't, he's not a bad guy and I'm not going to divorce him over it and make my kids live between two households. So we stay together as friends and partners. Not ideal and made me sad for awhile, but I've come to accept it. There are worse fates in life. [/quote]

I feel sad for you because I feel like you are both vulnerable to having someone swoop you off of your feet.  [/quote]

I'm like the PP and I fear what you are saying.  I love my husband but feel like I'm not "in love" with him anymore.  I don't ever get butterflies when I look at him or think about him.  I have impulses but he does not inspire them.  It would break his heart if he knew this, but it's true.  I've tried.  I could "just have sex" and I've done that but I fear I will never truly want it from him again.  I know the initial romance/sparks fade but, geez. . .we are still young and God-willing have 40+ years back.  So I hear you, OP.  We need a kid-free vacation and I've wondered if that could do it for us, but I have my doubts.  Good luck OP and PP.  Don't know what else to say.[/quote]
It does not fade -- it ebbs and flows. You have to work at it, just like you  have peaks and valleys in your career. You have to make a conscious decision to do somethng about it...TOGETHER. Stop looking for what you had in the initial flush of romance. Start verbalizing the appreciation for the new level of intimacy, the family things you share AND AND AND actively work on being a couple. Give yourselves time to get to know each other in a new way. Start dating each other, even when you don't feel like it. It takes time, so give it time. Best of luck.[/quote]

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