Reply to Emotional control-- how to teach and how much to expect

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[quote=Anonymous]I think eight is old enough for her to start trying.  And the way you put it is perfect--it's normal to be in a bad mood sometimes, but there are good ways and bad ways to express that.  Being rude is not a good way.  When she's not grumpy, talk about good ways to deal--asking for a hug, or telling people that you are tired and need to be alone or rest or whatever, or asking for a snack if she's really hungry, etc.  Don't just tell her what not to do--help her figure out constructive ways to handle it.  Praise her when she does them, remind her when she doesn't, and impose appropriate consequences when she is rude.  And when you impose consequences, be explicit--"I know you're tired, but it's still not okay to be rude."  Whenever possible, try to have the consequences include a solution to the underlying problem--"I see that you're too tired to behave well right now.  So, instead of playing the game with everyone/having dessert with us/going to the movie we planned, you need to go to your room and rest."   [/quote]

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