Reply to How to create a lasting, great relationship with your kids

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm pretty close with my parents, as are my siblings, some of whom had a really rough relationship with my folks for awhile.   So, I'm sure its different for everyone, but i would imagine a lot of it is just because we conceive ourselves (then and now!) as a family unit.  family vacations, family holidays, family traditions, family games, family projects, family problems, family goals.   we were always part of something bigger than us and expected to go along to get along.  i don't mean we got ignored as individuals, quite the opposite, but there always was the larger collective.  our close friends got sort of invited in to whatever family event was going on (and were usually overwhelmed).  I now conceive of my own nuclear family as part of that collective (much to my husband's occasional dismay), even though we live far away and can't see everyone constantly.  But I always try my damnedest to make family events, to call my parents and siblings regularly, and to stay in touch with their goings on.  And when i can't see them, i try to recreate my family traditions at home here in DC.

but that's just the way we did it, and I'm sure all that isn't necessary.  assuming you're good, kind, loving parents, i think the longterm bond just happens organically.  some of the hard part probably comes later when you have to simultaneously let go, respect their independence, and yet still form a relationship as a adult and hang on to a loving bond when they're facing away from you most of the time.  And that requires the cooperation of your kids . . .[/quote]

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