Reply to Best online dating for a shy 33 y.o. F who needs to take things slow

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]she needs to be prepared to receive many (and I mean tons) of unwanted contacts from a bunch of caveman - online dating is just another forum for douche bags to prey on women.

that said, help her put together a meaningful profile and post nice, flattering pictures of her.  it's best to use a paid service like match or e-harmony rather than a free site (the free ones attract all orders of mouth breathers)

she needs to have a clear sense of the type of guy she wants - older, younger, tall, race, education, never married, divorced, kids, no kids, etc.  not to use this as hard criteria but it helps.  depending on what she really wants - just a boyfriend or a real LTR (though if she hasn't really been in a serious relationship yet, this can be a red flag for mature guys, especially divorcees).

I'm a divorced dad and I use an online site - but I don't rely on it.  I do get a number of women contacting me first - nothing like what an attractive woman will receive in terms of an overflowing inbox, so she needs to take a deep breath and remember this is not a sprint.  tell her to trust her gut instinct - it will keep her on the right path.

GL[/quote]

Thanks!

Her gut instinct is not developed at all. My young adult daughter who is 11 years younger than my cousin is light years ahead in understanding men. My cousin has admitted to a few celebrity crushes so I can guess from that what type of guy she thinks is attractive, though that may not be realistic in terms of looking for a guy roughly her own age. It would be nice if she met a guy and they chatted online for a few weeks before meeting in real life. I'm not joking about the virgin thing. She went to prom with her BIL's younger brother and they kissed so I know she's had at least that much experience.[/quote]

I'm the PP -  I will say this - if she or you think an attractive good guy will spend weeks exchanging emails and 'chatting' on-line, the harsh truth is that is very unlikely to happen.  Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed about - but from what you describe, sounds like she might be emotionally immature too.  as a guy in my early 40s the emotional immaturity (not having been in a real long-term relationship before) would be a real deal breaker, and I think it would be the same for most good men (single or divorced) 35+.[/quote]

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