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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks to the PPs. I do have Xanax (I take it for flights) and it makes me basically black out. So I can't take it at their house and esp when I am around my toddler.

I think on some level my MIL realizes that my FIL is inappropriate, etc because she will snap at him to stop saying something if he goes down a particularly inappropriate path. Yet, I also think she would be very offended if DH or I have any indication that we are not comfortable around him. You have to tread so lightly because off the cultural stuff. Similarly, while DH will admit that there is a problem, he gets ULTRA defensive about it and does absolutely nothing, in my opinion, to "protect" me from dealing with FIL. I suppose that is something we could try to work on (DH nipping this stuff in the bud).

I have been told that FIL was completely normal before his illness and that high levels of toxins in his blood caused his mental state to change and that it never returned to normal. Personally, I don't think he was ever someone that I would ever want to spend time around, but who knows. I met him about a year before he became sick and was told that his toxins were already in his bloodstream or whatever when we met.

I would be fine with meeting at a hotel somewhere and footing the bill, but I think the issue is that they are putting pressure on him to come visit. We already see them enough because they come here, so it's not about making contact.. Just that they want us at their home. [/quote]

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