Reply to Inlaws Situation -My Inlaws are basically raising my SIL kids ( 6 and 7)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This might not help, but would it change things to remove the issue of your SIL from the story and just think of these kids as if they were your DH's much-younger siblings/half-siblings/step-siblings?

In that case, if I were in your boat, I'd welcome the two cousins whole-heartedly--one hopes they'll be important in the lives of your own children, and your children in their lives.

And then maybe there are ways to support the grandparents getting to know your toddler (and future sibling). For example, when they visit, could you or DH take the older kids out to do something the toddler wouldn't enjoy, leaving the grandparents with toddler and other parent?

I would try my best to be gentle with the grandparents, who sound like they are trying to step in and make sure these cousins have a good childhood. This doesn't mean they can't also be good grandparents to your children--but it is certainly likely that they will be a little more distracted and tired than many other grandparents their age.

As for your DH, I can certainly understand his frustration. Is there a way he can focus any conversation in a positive way, again not mentioning his sister? Better to say, "I'd like to spend more time with you, Mom and Dad! Here are some ideas I have..." then to complain that sister and her kids take all their attention.[/quote]
Brilliant spot on advice![/quote]

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