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[quote=Anonymous]I am 27 years old and my parents separated when I was 10 and divorced when I was 13. I have issues with both parents - father abused substances and has been jobless/ homeless on and off. He is fairly emotionally supportive and encouraging. Mother has been very emotionally distant since I was a child, but was the parent I could count on to remember to pick me up from school, etc. I always wanted to be close to my mother, but never felt she liked me very much. I talk to both parents on a semi regular basis and would consider our relationships OK, but lacking in honesty and depth. I am terrified to be vulnerable in front of either parent, and I often find myself expressing anger towards them (sadness masked as anger, according to therapist). I don't blame either parent for anything in my life - I am basically stable, educated, employed, etc, just trying to understand myself and my actions better. I have recently been in therapy and I have been thinking a lot about my parents divorce even though it was literally 15 years ago. I don't think I dealt with it then. I remember hiding it from my friends for years and I still don't bring it up (for example, new friends often don't realize my parents are divorces until they have known me for several years.). I don't think divorce is shameful or anything like that.

The question is... I want to sort of interview my parents. I want to ask them questions about their perspectives on their biggest successes and failures as parents. What they wish they would have told me. The most important thing they told me. Therapist thinks this could help me understand my parents more, express my sadness in a way other than anger. Also, it could open up more honest, vulnerable conversations, which I crave but am afraid of, especially with my mom. Has anyone ever asked their parents to reflect on their parenting? Did it go well? Any advice for doing this? (I would probably write questions in advance, but talk to them in person. Even though both parents are their own brand of crazy, both were actually therapists (retired) ... figures... ). I live in DC and they live in another east coast town.[/quote]

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