Reply to Mentally ill estranged family member - how much should I be worried?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you or DH didn't send a picture to FIL, then it's totally fine if you're creeped out that he knows what he looks like. You can either:
1) contact aunt to find out if she sent FIL a picture of DS--don't assume, even though given your post this is the most likely way FIL got it.
2) don't tell or send aunt anything you wouldn't want FIL to see/know about. Instead of a card with a picture, write a letter. Or send her a photo of just you and DH you might have taken over the year and write "Merry Christmas! Love, me and DH" on the back of it.[/quote]

OP. Thanks for the perspective posters.

Yeah, we didn't even share any pics with his aunt/uncle. I am guessing they came from his mom (which is actually her ex-SIL, but they remained pretty close even though DH's dad went away from everyone I guess). His family is really small on both sides so its pretty easy to trace who shared what with whom. If we didn't do it (DH didn't, we just aren't that close with emails and what not to even bother) then his mom is the one who shared with aunt/uncle and that's how it got to dad. Since I know MIL doesn't have any contact with DH dad either.

I guess mostly the only thing we will ever have to deal with is the cards that feel like a gut punch 1-2 times a year at most. I hate seeing them in the mail. I know it will in some way be a twinge painful at best for DH when he reads them. I've always just wanted to intercept and throw them out, but I would never do that of course, its not my place and not the kind of relationship we have.[/quote]

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