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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Sounds like it's your DH's problem. The BIL doesn't really sound that bad. And if he wouldn't get upset if the SAME thing was said by a friend, then your DH needs therapy. Not your BIL's fault. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

OP here -- not entirely disagreeing, DH definitely has issues here. BIL doesn't help, though.

BIL loves running, biking, etc. and is very fit. DH is a geek from way back; he was stick-thin when he was younger, but these days he's put on a gut. He's sensitive about that, to begin with, and then I think when BIL offers unsolicited comments about his lack of exercise, it takes him back to his teens and not feeling accepted for his own interests.

Basically, he just wants to get a sense that his big brother approves of him. And he NEVER gets that, he just gets (well-intended) chiding. If DH emails him vacation pics -- just hoping for a "Hey, looks like you guys had a fun trip" -- he gets back a couple paragraphs about how he looks like he's putting on weight and needs to think about his health.

He knows his friends like him, so if they hassle him now and then, it's fine. He never gets positive feedback from his brother, so he's really sensitive to the negative feedback. (Meanwhile, I think BIL knows he loves his little brother and doesn't realize that his affection is always expressed as critical "concern.")[/quote]

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