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Reply to "BIL gets under DH's skin"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here -- the thing is, I don't think the comments BIL makes are what you could call attacks; they're relatively innocuous comments, maybe a little chiding. ("Sure you don't you want to go biking? [shakes head] Man, you're a dad now, you need to be healthy for your kid!") But even the most innocent comment, when it's his brother, comes pre-loaded with 40+ years of judgment attached. (9:54, you make such a good point about family members bringing history.) If my husband were hearing those exact same comments from a friend, it would be no big deal, and he'd respond with an easy retort ("Yeah, have fun getting sweaty out there, I'm fine with my book and my air conditioning"). But with his brother, he goes straight to an angry "F--- you!" It sounds like there's pretty good consensus here, as far as how -I- should handle it: Start off intervening with lighter, deflecting comments, and take BIL aside for a more serious talk only if he keeps it up. [/quote]
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