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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. My fiancé has a lot of respect for the hard work his mother put into raising the children alone, [b]but finds her to be annoying and does not have a close relationship with her[/b]. He also supported me 100% regarding the comment, he was more angry than I was. He's not one to hold grudges, and I'd like an apology from her, but whatever. I'm really not terribly angry about the comment. What I am really struggling with is how to have any respect for someone who is so publicly vile. You wouldn't know it unless you saw her Facebook page. She spouts far right hate speech and blatent lies. My partner and I do not see eye to eye on many issues, but it isn't a big deal. She is out there!  [b]I want to have a healthy, friendly relationship with her. [/b]I'm just disgusted by many of the things she has posted on Facebook and don't know how to move past it. [/quote]

If her own child finds her annoying and doesn't have a close relationship with her, don't expect to have a healthy, friendly relationship with her.  Just don't.  Hope for a distant, civil relationship where you can manage to enjoy each other for brief, infrequent visits.  That's what your F-DH has now, right? So more of that.  If you can accept her for who she is and act accordingly, that's your best chance of having things go smoothly.

Grieve what you would have wanted in a MIL, be sad for that, but don't expect her to be what she isn't.  It will only bring you pain and hurt your marriage.[/quote]

Thanks, this is what I needed to hear. My family isn't near and it would be nice to have a differnt relationship with his, but it is what it is and I just need to accept her for who she is, which is a person I wouldn't really care to have a friendship with. Could be worse! [/quote]

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