Reply to Future MIL: far right hate speech

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[quote=Anonymous]Consider yourself lucky your MIL has shown her cards early.

How's your fiance's relationship with her?  How much does he see her, call her, etc?

1) F-DH may not have a problem with her attitude, but you sure can, and you need to make it clear that you're not going to be persuing a friendship with his mom, but rather a civil, cordial relationship where you follow his lead.  "His lead" means that he does all calling, all scheduling of visits, and some visits by himself.  Distance will help.  You've tried playing nice friendly DIL, and you see where that got you, so take a step back.

2) But it also sounds like F-MIL is being snippy about your marriage, so you also need to say that you expect him to stand up for decisions the two of you make together.  Stupid comments like "he would come but for HER" on Facebook just make her look bad, but anything said in person to your or him needs to be addressed right at the moment.

3) Talk about future kids, that there's certain behavior that you won't allow in front of children, and that if she continues in this vein, she's not going to be the grandmother you trust for babysitting and other outings.

You might consider having this conversation with a counselor or the person who's going to officiate your wedding.[/quote]

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