Reply to Regret Marrying Someone with Kids

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Regret Marrying Someone with Kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) Nothing is ever quite what you think it will be, one day you will be saying this about the issues you have co-parenting the kids you have together. It is just life

2) Sounds like your DH needs to stop being quite so intimidated by the baby mother...does he have a LEGAL custody agreement? If so, he needs to stop being afraid of having his kids get taken away.

3) You and DH need to discuss exactly how to approach the blending of the family, common rules, expectations

4) Your number 1 goal needs to be that ALL the kids feel loved, appreciated, and part of a family and your actively forging a bond between all the siblings[/quote]

It is just hard to act like a family when we are only together 4 days out of the month and our household operates differently the other days.  When they're not here, we only focus on activities for the toddlers, socialize with families who have similarly aged children, see my family, etc.  When they are here, I end up taking our kids to their activities and DH spends time with his kids though obviously we have meals together, play in the yard some, etc.  Hard to find activities that interest all four and don't want to drag older kids to the spray park or toddler birthday parties, etc yet also don't want younger kids to miss out on these things.[/quote]
You don't have to do all the activities together, you don't necessarily do that with kids that live together all the time. Sometimes the big kids can go to the little kid activities, when DH calls during the week, you can sometimes let the little ones say hi to their bigger siblings. Making everyone feel "included" does not mean in every single activity. You want everyone to see and understand that decisions are made with the entire family in mind. I say this as a stepmom (mine is an adult with a family of their own, but I have a ES aged kid who is crazy about the adult sibling). You really need to get your DH on board about common rules and such, no one needs parent out of fear.  My father used to occassionally threaten to get custody of me, and my mom was like "yea right". [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics