Reply to Regret Marrying Someone with Kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am no expert in blended families, but I can say: Alternate holidays with your family and your ILs without guilt.  Your MIL doesn't have to see her grandkids every single holiday.  Plenty of people don't see their grandkids every holiday, and you're already working within a complicate schedule so she gets to see all four kids when you do have them.  She should be grateful, not guilting you.

Do the best you can to have peace at your home when the kids are there.  That's what I'd focus on with DH: setting rules for when they are at your house, having them involved in chores and activities, don't let them watch TV all day.  [/quote]

On the two holidays when we went out of town, she went and got the stepkids from their mom for part of the day.  She also regularly sees them even when we don't have them - an issue that DH sometimes has a problem with because she and their mother make decisions/plans/purchases without consulting him.  He doesn't want to restrict access but doesn't want her to be so chummy with their mom and also leave him out on decisions.  Because their mom ends up using that against him in arguments.[/quote]

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