Reply to My husband doesn't love me anymore - is this a sufficient reason for him to divorce me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The women's group at my church raved about this article and maybe it will bring you comfort:
http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

That said... There are worse things for kids than a divorce. A mother who feels victimized and helpless because her husband wants out is not going to be able to help her children see their self-worth is not based on being loved.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for the link to the article. I think if I tried what the author did for 6 long months, I would have no self-esteem left.

Like the author's husband, mine is also probably going through some sort of mid-life crisis. In any case he is behaving like a kid and not thinking about his commitment to the family/kids.

I still think that we could have a nice future together. But I'm not sure how to get him to value me again. I am not older, worse-looking or meaner than the many other women whose husbands stand by them. He says that he is frustrated because we don't manage to save much money, despite his high income. We have paid back our substantial college loans and have a mortgage for a VERY modest home. But in another geographic area we would pay the same amount of money for an admittedly somewhat nicer home, so I doubt that we would be better off somewhere else. Despite this, he still wants me to stay at home.[/quote]

I'm confused. The woman in the article moved on with her life and didn't let her husband's mid-life crisis or whatever define her. You on the other hand accuse of her having low self esteem while you sound desperate and terrified and frankly unprepared.

Look, I get it. I've been there. When you've been married a while, many couples face the question  of whether or not they are going to stay married. I'm not trying to put you down or minimize what you are going through, but you need to get assertive and get strong. Make a plan. You have an education, that's great. Start thinking about ways to get back in the workforce down the road. Find out your rights like a PP said. You may not get a lot of alimony, but he can't toss you out in the street. You will likely get 50/50 custody and child support. You can make it work, but you need a plan.

We don't know what life is going to throw at us and we can't control other people, but we can control ourselves and prepare as much as possible. [/quote]

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