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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry for your loss.  Even if you didn't have an ideal relationship, losing a parent is hard.  I know - I lost both of my before I turned 30.  I too envy my friends who have both parents.  I wish my folks could know my kids, and give me advice, and just be with me.  But what I wanted to add here is about this line in your post:

I am just realizing that no matter how well I do or how hard I work, the chance of having a relationship with my dad is gone.

I guess for me, my relationship with my folks still exists on some level because I keep it alive.  I talk about them as appropriate.  I keep a few things of theirs around - like my dads favorite spatula, which I use to make pancakes for my kids almost every weekend.  I think about them sometimes.  Sometimes I even write them little notes in my head.  They are still a part of me, and a part of my life.  Sure it's not anything like having living parents, but I watch my daughter grow into someone whose character and interests so resembles my mother and I watch my children enjoy some of the family traditions that I enjoyed as a kid.  And I feel like I've kept the connection with my parents and my past alive - and I'm grateful for that.  Forgive me for rambling, but hopefully this makes sense somehow to you.  And again, I am so sorry for your loss. [/quote]

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