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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're just a bit beyond your stage -- oldest is a recent college grad working and living on his own on the west coast, middle kid is in college and will be home in a few weeks, and youngest is in HS.  With kids in college, you kind of need to brace yourself for the summer return.  It seems like you're just getting used to their absence and then, they're baaack.  Even when they're working and earning money, your expenses go up, at least in terms of food.

But more than that, the house just feels more chaotic, because, it is more chaotic and full of people -- young people who are spontaneous -- remember that -- spontaneity?  Ah,  yes, it was lovely when you were the spontaneous one, but crazy-making when you witness it.  I mean, it's not just your kid who's back, but all of his/her pals, and even when you love them and are thrilled to see how they're growing up and stepping out into the world, it's a little disconcerting to have them emerge from the basement on Saturday as the sun goes over the yardarm.  Then, when they start discussing their plans for the day (or what's left of it), your head just spins.  (DH and I often retreat to the porch or our room to try to sort this out -- "Whose girlfriend is flying in from Boston?"  "No, that is not his girlfriend -- she's a friend from his internship who's passing through town before moving to Alaska to do Teach for America."  "Teach for America?  Are you sure it isn't Code for America?" -- yes, this was a real conversation.)

As far as helping your kids figure out how to pay a parking ticket, tell a boss you're quitting to move to Alaska, ship your stuff to Alaska, etc. --you must resist the urge to do this for your child, or even tell them how to do it.  Just ask questions in a friendly, but detached way.  Example:  "Can you really just take all your winter gear and put it on a freighter in New York and then it's there when you get to Alaska in September?  My goodness.  Does it ever work out that the gear doesn't arrive when the person does?  Hmmm.  I wonder what would happen if the freighter got there first?  . . . . "  Occasionally, your child will respond --"You know, that's a good point, Mom.  I'll ask about that."  More often, they'll say, "Oh, Mom, you worry too much."  To which you respond "I'm sure I do; it'll be fine."  Then, if it is all fine, peachy; if it's not, this is how your child learns about life and develops survival skills.

In any case, eventually, your child will return to college or move to Alaska and you'll miss him/her, but you'll text and Skype and the house will be blessedly quiet again -- with just you, DH and younger teen child who loooved having less attention all summer long and is now seething with youngest child resent because s/he is once again the focus of all your parental ministrations.  But, before you turn your attention to him/her, do remember to check the basement b/c you never know who's down there.                     [/quote]

You captured this perfectly![/quote]

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