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[quote=Anonymous]Hi everyone. OP here.

16:38, I don't think she suspects anyone in particular of being his AP. I know that there is an ex-girlfriend on the scene who did not used to be a concern but is now because she is divorced. I don't know if that is a realistic fear, as I have only met that woman one time about 5 years ago when she first got married. Her relationship with my friend's H ended about 20 years ago.

14:48, I am not going to personally help her make an exit plan. I personally feel that that falls under the category of needing to mind my own business. Also, he is my friend too, and I would not like to be involved in what he might see as sabotaging their marriage. This is a person who, when I last saw him, was completely, obviously, publicly in love with his wife. Theirs was actually a marriage I really respected and admired, so hearing all this comes as a really shocking disappointment.

11:30, what I ended up telling her was basically along the lines of what you wrote. Thank you for that. I think that she is experiencing some stress because her oldest child is graduating from high school, going off to college, etc. She was successful in her career before her kids were born and she quit working to devote pretty much 100% of her time to them and their activities. I don't know what she will do with her free time when there are no sporting events to attend or photograph. I think she is worried about the future and has possibly realized that while she was being the world's greatest soccer mom, her husband is missing their life from before soccer games and school fundraisers.

I think they are both probably experiencing some fairly typical aging issues - whether those be empty nest feelings or midlife crisis feelings or a woman feeling like she's no longer attractive because she's older. I advised her to work on herself and figure out ways that she can get a break and maybe try to have more fun. I also advised her to try to put the shoe on the other foot when they have a bad interaction about something because it didn't seem like she was doing that.

Anyway, thank you all for your input. I hope they work out their problems, but I plan to mostly stay out of it.[/quote]

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