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[quote=Anonymous]A good friend of mine who lives in another state believes that her husband is having an affair. She has some evidence that seems to point in this direction and has caught him in a few lies. He has also changed his personal habits (quit smoking, started riding his bike to work - both things that he had refused to do for years) and started up the band he was in before they had kids. He refuses to go to counseling because he does not believe that their marriage has any issues, and blames her anxiety and depression for her worries that their marriage is broken.

She is basically obsessed with catching him, at this point. She is a SAHM. Their kids are 15 and 17 - the older one is off to college in August. She has a chronic illness that makes it hard for her to work, but runs the house, finances, etc.

My advice to her was that she should think about what her end game looks like. If he's cheating, what does she want to happen? Does she want to leave? It seems pretty unproductive to obsess about secret Facebook accounts or whether he's biking to work with an ex-girlfriend or whatever. She approached me because I have known both of them for many years and she does not feel that she can confide in anyone local.

Does anyone have any thoughts about advice to give her?[/quote]

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