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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here. Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the responses. She does try to connect with me, and when we're just out to dinner or something, she's fine, we get along fine. But when it comes my DS or other things where she thinks she can give us advice, she's just so opinionated (just one instance: why don't you breastfeed in front of me, (and when I do: you didn't breastfeed him for long enough), you need to give him more solids, I gave him a whole cup of yogurt, he's still hungry, you are obviously not feeding him enough). [b]She goes out of the way to make me feel like an outsider and like I will never be good enough to fit in with her family.[/b]  My family is from a different culture too, and she goes out of her way to act like my parents are not good enough either - and I'm not as close to  my parents as my DH is to his, we're far from estranged, I'm just very independent and don't  call him as frequently.  Sorry. I'm venting enough. It's nice to hear sympathetic responses. Is there a reason she can't just visit, enjoy her time with her son and her grandson, and learn to keep her opinions to herself? Ugh.[/quote]

She probably feels like the only thing she has to offer in the form of some authority is her family standing so to you she builds up belonging to the family as some big deal. [b]It's not that she looks down on you but by making the family out to be something really fantastic then you will be impressed by her and happy to be included in such a great group. 
[/b]
said with sarcasm: And don't forget that she's the old hand in this clan so stick with her, keep your eyes and ears open and you might just learn something!

Hang in there and try to take what she says with a grain of salt.

[/quote]

Dang, that sounds like my MIL in the early years.  Lots and lots of talking about how great their nuclear family was, how they did everything special and different and awesome, and anyone who did things in a typical way like x, y, z was just boring (when my family did x, y, z things and they were just fine, not that she ever thought to ask).

OMG.  It was terrible.  It's largely stopped, though, and there's little to no picking at our choices about our kid.  Somewhere in there DH got the message through that it wasn't appreciated, but I still can't trust that the habit is gone.[/quote]

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