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[quote=Anonymous]Wait, do we share a MIL?  Bc this sounds a lot like mine.  She's ragingly insecure, to the point that she kind of lashes out at us to get her opinion across.  She doesn't like that we don't use her counsel for every decision and she just can't imagine why we'd bristle at being lectured like 5 year olds.  Also, my baby isn't even born yet, but she's already telling me all the ways I could mess up and kill the baby.  I feel a lot more of this "concern trolling" coming my way.  She loves to forcefully tell me tips on how not to let some rare deadly scenario happen and then she gets upset I'm not jumping up and hugging her saying "omg thank you so much for the info!" and instead say something like "yes, I know, I've read about that...".

Ahem.

As other posters have said, you can't change her.  The best thing to do is to change your reaction to her.  That might mean sticking up for yourself if she's questioning things you do out loud.  It also will probably mean letting a LOT of stuff just slide by without comment.  I get through it by trying to remember the good qualities and focusing on those.  When I verbalize to my husband some of my annoyance with her being bitchy and insecure, I always try to include something positive about her too.  It's hard for him to realize his mother kind of sucks, and he's still going to love her, she's his mom.

Digging deep for patience is key.  Sticking up for yourself here and there is good.  And letting your DH handle big battles is also important.

Hang in there!  It's not always gonna be easy, but just try to let empathy (not annoyance) lead the way...[/quote]

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