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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Low self-esteem. She feels very insecure around you so she offers her "brilliant" insights, shares her thoughts and tries to hold her own. Criticism of you and your choices also falls into this.

She's also trying to assert herself in the only realm she feels she has some standing: family. She considers herself the matriarch (even if others don't) because she believes that gives her value inside the family.

Believe me, she feels insecure around you. So try not to take it personally, it really is her own set of issues.[/quote]

This sounds pretty classic.  Especially because she was a SAHM mom and you have a career--I've seen that dynamic play out a little bit with my own MIL.

The thing is, your MIL's feelings shouldn't be your problem.  I'd turn this around on your DH a little bit: "Honey, why are you listening to your mother complain about me?  We're just living our lives the best way we see fit.  If she offers advice that's useful, I take it, but I'm not going to live my life according to every suggestion she makes, and, frankly, I'd probably ask her for advice more often if she didn't give it so constantly and repeatedly.  I'd really appreciate it if you would handle this issue with your mother.  Assure her she's important to us--I think that's best coming from you, as she's your parent--but, gosh, stand up for us a little, would you?  You coming back to tell me these silly things she's said is only going to make me like her less and make me a little peeved at you that you didn't handle it."[/quote]

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