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[quote=Anonymous]My husband adores his mom, and I don’t believe for a second that she’s a bad person. But, I have been able to tell from the get go that she and I both have strong personalities, and we don't always mesh. But, I know she loves him and she adores our son and I want to do my best to help make this all work.

Here are my issues:
1. She talks down to everyone. I can take it for a little while, but then I lose patience with it. Her family has just sort of learned to take it. I’m quite successful in my professional endeavors and I find it completely offensive when someone talks to me like I'm 5 years old.
2. She states the obvious and thinks she’s a genius for it. (We’re opening up our kitchen currently and she thought she was brilliant because she was explaining to us that now that we’ve knocked down the wall, the refrigerator doesn’t have to stay where it was - I mean, really? why does she think we knocked down the stupid wall?) (oh, really, you think mismatched appliances shouldn’t go together - no kidding, you are SO smart).
3. She repeats her ideas constantly. 
4. She wants “credit” for everything positive that happens, even if she barely played a role. 
5. She really values materialistic things. (she was completely offended that we only sent her cards for mother’s day and that we only bought her a few gifts for christmas-even though one of them was a $400 gift) (she constantly buys us things - even when we ask her not to). The woman didn't even acknowledge me on my first mother's day.
6. She compares me to her son-in-law (who she adores).
7. She is trying to get into DH’s head that I don't take his opinions into account.
8. When I was pregnant, she said awful things about me and my intentions and our baby and I have a really tough time letting that go.

We were with her over the weekend and she told my husband that I was completely dismissive of her and her ideas. I think I did become dismissive after she repeated herself for the fourth time. I mean, do I really have to hear someone talk about how she prefers this color over that six times in a row? I heard her the first time.

I understand that she just wants to be a part of our lives and she wants to feel like she has valuable input. Thing is, I do value her input, but in the end, I can only take her suggestions when it fits into our life and our tastes.

I think her opinion of me is that I’m too headstrong and move forward on things too quickly. She probably thinks that I’m trying pull DH and her apart. She was a SAHM and I think she thinks I’m terrible for being so career oriented - although I think she sees how much I love DS. I think she thinks I should look at her as the matriarch of my family too. But, I have parents of my own, I’m now a parent, and I think I just want to see her as a MIL, not as a matriarch of MY family.

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