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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I want to be the fun laid back wife. Please tell me how."
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[quote=Anonymous]The problem with the "honey-do" list or pestering him to "help" you is ... he's not your "helper." It implies a dynamic where you are in charge, and a task master. But you're not in charge of the house or the household -- it's supposed to a partnership. Notice he probably doesn't hand you a list of things to do: "Go shopping, clean behind refrigerator, paint shelf, sweep patio." What's funny is my wife will often see me doing something, and the promptly ask me to do it. For example, I am up on a latter, changing the light bulbs in the ceiling light. She'll go, "Oh, I meant to ask you to change the bulbs." And for good measure she'll add, "and be sure to use 75 watts." And I'm like, "I know, woman!" Another example is laundry. I'll get the laundry started and come downstairs to fix breakfast for the kids while she's sleeping in. She'll come down later and bitch at me while I'm folding the whites and separating the darks for the next load to complain that I left the kitchen a mess, and by the way be sure to separate the navy and reds. So, OP, if you're like this, learn to stop it. It's maddening. [/quote]
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