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[quote=Anonymous]I can totally relate (even though I'm the Dad of a teenage autistic son), I understand the sentiment because I see the lack of friends my wife has.   (I too have very few friends outside of work, but I realize that it impacts a stay-at-home mom differently than a dad.)

I have a theory:  When you are dealing with these types of issues daily there is a difficulty/reluctance to engage in small-talk & meaningless chit chat that many people talk about with their superficial "friends."   My wife is unwilling to discuss much of the fluff that other people want to talk about, preferring to go deep, and talk about things of real importance, and that involves putting yourself out there (not a facade) and that's scary for some people, and they back away from it.  In our family we are DONE with facades!  We just don't have the time, energy, or inclination to try and maintain them.  Especially since inevitably our autistic son will do something entirely unpredictable, and we can't really apologize for it, all we can do is say "that's how it goes when you hang out with our family!"

I don't know if it's any consolation, but the people that back away when they find out about a diagnosis in your family … those aren't the kind of people you want as friends anyway!  Shallow People place to much value on this elusive notion of "normal" (which in my experience doesn't really exist!).  Be glad un-accepting people are not your friends!!

Have you had any luck trying to make friends with the parents of other children on the Autism Spectrum? (I'm not sure if your youngest is in school yet).  At least they would be people you have something in common with, and can share stories, experiences, struggles, and coping strategies with each other, in meaningful conversations.

Good luck and hang in there.  You may feel like you are all alone, but with the statistics showing that 1 in 88 children are on the spectrum, there are many other parents out there that are struggling too.  [/quote]

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