Reply to If you have a great relationship with your mom, how was your childhood?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a good relationship with my mom. She is 70, and I am 47. We are not BFFs nor do we call each other every day. I am the oldest of a large family, and we all get along with my parents.

I think the "trick" is that both parents disciplined us. They were (and still are) a team. They genuinely care about one another and modeled that for us. Of course, there were times when I was pissed off at one parent or closer to another. That's normal. One thing that was clear was that we could never be disrespectful to one parent without the other stepping in.

I would NOT recommend that you stop any disciplining and instead becoming your kid's BFF. Absolutely NO that. Kids will have many friends. You are will always be her parent. She needs a mother, not a friend. What I would suggest to both you and your friend is that you engage the other parent in the raising of their child. The dads need to step in and take over some of the discipline. If they're feeling uncomfortable, then perhaps take a parenting class together. They cannot just sit on the sidelines while you do "the work" and they take them to the candy store. Let your husband give the reminders to clean the room and pick up the toys. Stay out of it. Let him get her out of the house when she is dawdling. Make sure he supports you when you do discipline her, and that it is real support. It's not "Do what your mother says," but instead, "Your mom is right. In this house we do our chores before we go out to play."

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