Reply to DH says we should start counseling, I feel it is too late

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[quote=Anonymous]I have, sadly, posted in the past on this board about my problems with DH... 
We both work FT and have a  preschool aged child. DH works late most of the time (anytime between 9-11pm) and maybe comes home around 7pm twice a week for dinner. He plays sports one night a week and goes to a bar with teammates afterwards. He plays the same sport on Sundays (which usually doesn't allow us to do anything else on that day) He drops off DC in the morning because I go in to work early. From then on, most of the chores and child related activities are on me. Whatever we do on the weekend, either as a family, or as a couple in the evening, is always planned by me. Those nights DH comes home "early", he eats dinner, help with DC, then exercises until 10pm or after, then he'll have drinks. By then, I am in bed.
He says that all these activities are his way to relax. When he is not working, he is either engaged in some individual activity or with friends: sports or going out for a drink.

What bothers me about DH is that he is extremely defensive about his [i]me time[/i]. I feel completely ignored and neglected. I have been pretty vocal about it, asking him to call the babysitter every once in a while and to take me somewhere, but it never happens. I have been asking him to think about his priorities, but I am usually met with defensiveness which will then turn into aggression. He'll say that all his time is devoted to his family and he doesn't understand what I want! He says that I want complete control over him.  I am pretty social myself and like to hang out with people, he knows that. For example he's going out tonight to go to a club with a friend and his girlfriend to see a DJ he likes. He was drinking liquor before leaving while I was putting DC in bed. I've told him that I don't understand why he has to go out on a week night when he works so much and is barely home. 
I've asked for him to maybe hang out/go out on the weeknights so I can be included but nothing happens.
I've been talking about moving out because I see no solution to this, it's been going on for a long time. Today, he sent me a message from work saying that we should see a counselor because we "have completely different expectations of each other" and a counselor may be able to help us sort it out. I am afraid it's just sheer manipulation from him. I think he might be afraid of the financial burden of me getting another place with rent, etc... I also am starting to think that while he's called me controlling he has been the controlling one and is afraid of losing his power over me. 
He is not affectionate or loving towards me unless after we've been out somewhere, where he notices the attention I get from male, strangers or friends. I feel like a complete tool to my husband, only there to facilitate his life style.

Sorry if this post is a little all over the place but it reflects how I am feeling right now. Any thoughts or advice?
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