Reply to Encourage ex to independently visit DD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me start by saying that I really don't know anything as I've not had to face this situation, but judging on my husband's ability to manage solo time with 2 year olds (limited) I would say don't press him now.

It will get much easier for him to take your child on his own as she gets older, more verbal, more able to take direction, etc...

For right now can you just find a way to not be around when he's there?  Go to another room, take a long phone call w/ a girlfriend, do some laundry, weed the yard, etc...?

If things have been this cordial thus far, and if you were the one who primarily wanted the child in the first place, I just wouldn't push.  Accept what he can do and is willing to do, and find a way for that to be enough for right now.  Let his relationship with the child evolve over time and see if the attachment there drives a desire for more steady contact.  I don't think this is something that can/should be forced.

Good luck.
[/quote]

Thanks. I think you're right. It's just so hard to have to spend time with him when he blows off mother's day, refuses to engage in conversation of any substance, etc. I ended our romantic relationship prior to DC and I believe he's still angry at me for that. He denies it, but finds subtle ways to be a dick to me. I could accept dickish behavior (towards me, obvs not towards DC) if I didn't also feel that he's forcing me to be with him during her visits. It feels like punishment, while also making things as easy as possible for him.

My other option is to continue to be present for their visits but take my home out of the mix, so I'm not providing all the supplies, snacks, diapers, etc. I may suggest we meet at a playground near him, or just have him make the plans period. That might help me feel less resentful.[/quote]

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