Reply to Encourage ex to independently visit DD?

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[quote=Anonymous]2 yo DC is a happy, thriving toddler. My relationship with her dad ended right before we realized that we were (unexpectedly) pregnant. I wanted the baby. He was ambivalent. We agreed that I would parent, as I was emotionally and financially prepared, and that he would fulfill his role the best he could. So far he's maintained a consistent (if infrequent) visitation schedule, about 1-2 visits/mo, and gradually increased his contributions to school costs (529). I'd prefer him to see her more. I'm not interested in making money the issue.

To my topic: I'd like him to start spending time with her alone. He resists this, saying that it will be stressful for all. I've been OK with group visits so far…when DC was a baby that made sense. Now, she knows him, albeit not as well as I'd like, and is more verbal. Independent time together will strengthen their relationship. It will help him learn to parent. It is also his responsibility.

Admittedly, my other motivation for this is that I don't want to be around him anymore. Our relationship is cordial but superficial. He has ignored my attempts to reach out to him on a platonic level, which I've done since her birth. He is passive aggressive and uninterested in building a friendship separate from DC. I think we would be better parents if we were also friends but he may not want that, and I must respect that decision. I don't, then, want to set aside my free time to supervise him with DC.

I want DC to be safe and comfortable. I also don't want to kick this hornet's nest as we've stayed out of court so far. Advice is appreciated. Thanks.[/quote]

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